Hard To Love
by PrincessPanda93
Summary: Dean knew it wasn't easy loving him, but you know what? It's no so easy to love Cas either


**I claim ownership of only the idea, not the characters**

Hard to Love

Dean picked up the shot glass and downed the brown liquid, barely wincing at the burn as it went down.

"Slow down there, tiger," the tiny blond said, placing her tiny hand, with her tiny pink finger nails, on Dean's arm. "You're going to get wasted."

"It's been so long since I've been wasted," Dean said. "But let me tell you, I have certainly done some wasting." He motioned for the bartender to get him another shot, not caring that the blond didn't understand what he meant.

Two hours later Dean was standing on the bar singing along to "Eye of the Tiger" and having _fun_. The little blond was still with him, standing at the bar, cheering him on.

For once he wasn't worrying about Sam, who was back in the batcave, probably reading.

For once he wasn't thinking about Cas, and whatever was going on in Heaven that kept taking Cas away from him.

For once he wasn't thinking about various monster and ghosts and demons and angels that he spent his life hunting.

For once he wasn't thinking about Demon Tablets or Angel Tablets or keeping Kevin safe so that he could translate them.

When the song ended he hopped down. The blond was grinning at him. Maybe he should ask her name.

"You sure know how to have fun, tiger." Dean wondered why she kept calling him 'tiger'. It was weird. But then the girl was leaning forward, and before Dean knew what was happening she managed to get her lips on his. With the alcohol messing with his conscious, he closed his eyes and kissed her back. Her lips tasted like lipstick, which was not a really great taste, but they were soft and warm, and her arms wrapped around his neck.

All of a sudden a hand came slamming down on Dean's shoulder, pulling him away from the blond.

"What the hell?" she asked.

"Guess again," Dean heard someone mumble. Eyes wide, he turned and saw Castiel standing there in his trench coat, glaring at the girl.

"Shit," Dean said. "Don't smite her."

"Smite me?" the girl asked. "What?"

"Leave," Cas said to her.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" she demanded.

"Not Hell," Cas said.

"He's my angel," Dean said, grinning. "Where have you been?"

"Angel?"

"Busy," Cas said. "Let's go." He started pulling Dean across the bar, knowing he can't just blip out of a crowded bar.

"Excuse me," the girl called, following them. "You can't just take my man away from me."

Cas stopped and turned to her. "He is not your man." Cas stepped closer to her, opening his mouth to say something else.

Dean may have been drunk, but he still knew that Cas probably _really_ wanted to smite this girl. Reaching out, Dean put his hand on Cas's chest. "No smiting," he said. Cas turned and looked at him, their faces so close. All at once Dean was hit by a wave of how much he had missed Cas. Without thinking about it Dean leaned forward and kissed Cas, in the middle of the bar, right in front of that girl.

"I missed you," Dean whispered when he pulled back.

"I could tell," Cas said dryly. "Come on." They started walking to the door again, completely ignoring the girl.

By the time the girl had pushed through the door, only seconds after Dean and Cas, they were gone.

…

Cas brought them to Dean's room.

Dean had sobered a bit on the 'ride' over. He sat on the bed and put his head in his hands. He felt Cas sit next to him, and put his hand on Dean's shoulder.

"Dean," Cas said softly.

"I'm sorry, Cas."

Castiel stayed quiet.

"Just say it," Dean said.

"Say what?" Cas asked.

"That I make it hard to love me."

Cas sighed. Sometimes Dean got a little… whiny when he was drunk. "Dean," Cas said again. He sighed. "Look at me," he insisted.

Dean slowly looked up. "Yes, sometimes patience is needed to be in this relationship. But Dean, I would not want this, want you, any other way."

Dean shrugged Castiel's hand off of his shoulder and stood. "I drink too much, I test your trust, I pay more attention to the things that I need. I-"

"Shut up," Cas said, standing up. He walked over to Dean and put his hand on Dean's cheek. "Don't you think that if I actually cared about all that, I wouldn't have rebelled for you in the first place?"

Cas watched as Dean licked his lips, not looking at the angel. After a moment he said, "You're not so easy to love yourself."

Cas rolled his eyes. "Of course not. I am an angel of the Lord."

"Yeah, exactly," Dean said. "You're always popping out and sometimes you don't answer when I call you and sometimes I don't hear from you for weeks." Dean finally looked at Cas, his green eyes looking into the blue depths of Castiel's. "That kills me," Dean whispered, his voice breaking. "Not knowing if you're okay for _weeks_."

"Why wouldn't I be okay?"

Dean sighed and plopped back down on his bed. "I just hate not hearing from you."

"Well, I am here now," Cas said. "And it has been a while, hasn't it?" He shrugged out of his trench coat and his suit coat and pushed Dean back onto the bed. "I assume that is why you were at the bar." Cas climbed on top of him. "To fulfill your needs."

"Cas, no," Dean said. "I just wanted to forget."

"Forget what?"

"How lonely and sad I was. How much I missed you."

Cas stared into Dean's eyes for a while. Finally he whispered "I'm sorry" and leaned down to kiss Dean.

It had been long enough that neither man nor angel could hold back. Cas kissed Dean hard, with a lot of tongue and teeth. Dean's hands started unbuttoning Cas's shirt, roaming his hands over his bared chest.

Cas brought his lips down to Dean's neck, right to the spot where Cas could feel Dean's pulse on his lips.

Dean flipped them over, grinning down at his angel before reattaching their lips. Cas started to push Dean's shirt up, his cold hands running up Dean's ribs.

Once Dean's shirt was off, Cas ran his fingers up and down Dean's spine, sending chills across his back.

Dean kicked off his boots as Cas started trailing his fingers along his waist line, bringing his lips back down to Dean's neck, this time eliciting a small moan from the hunter.

Dean had missed the angel's touch so damn much.

Castiel flipped them over again. He sat up so he could take off his shirt and then leaned back down to kiss Dean.

Dean placed his hands on Cas's back, drawing absentmindedly with his fingers, which caused Cas to grab Dean's wrists and move them so they were above his head, pinned to the mattress.

Dean grinned against Cas's lips. It was obvious who was gonna be in charge tonight. He loved when Cas got jealous.

**It's really hard to write these two. Every sentence makes me feel like I should just give up *Blows hair out of face* Pretty please tell me how you feel about it.**


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